Self-Serving Fictions

"Even the fear of death is nothing compared to the fear of not having lived authentically and fully" (F.M. Lappe).

There are few things in my life that I find as refreshing and renewing as doing life with those who share my appreciation for authenticity and transparency. I find that I am more at peace when I am honest with myself and with others about my life, my struggles, my pain, and my quiet hopes and dreams. In authentic community, transparency gives us the opportunity to be met with a richness of grace and love that we otherwise might not ever experience.

For many of us, from the time we are very young, we begin the art of hiding, becoming actors on the world stage and masters of fiction. We take great care to display to those around us only those things they may find good and acceptable, and we disguise and conceal those things that might earn us disapproval or out-right rejection. Our fear keeps us hidden, and our obscurity keeps us from experiencing transformative grace, love, and acceptance...from God and from others!

Our protective masks and self-serving fictions bury us in shame and add to our despair. Within the confines of our own heads, we wrestle with our thoughts, agonize over our inadequacies, and lament over our losses. Instead of finding the holy, life-giving Spirit of God, we spiral into darkness and death.

What are we afraid of?

Perhaps many of us are not yet part of a truly redemptive community where mercy abounds and the Spirit of Christ reigns. Perhaps we stick to ourselves because we believe that such independence is a good thing, or perhaps we've never known anything different. With self-reliance as our banner, we march further and further into ourselves, and we quietly suffer from the loss of never having been known.

We must be authentic with each other, to voice our authentic sorrow, our authentic fear, our authentic doubts, our authentic struggles. Perhaps then, we will experience authentic community, authentic grace, authentic love.