Up

Up. It's where we're looking.

It's been a long several months since we made the decision to return to the States from our beloved Ireland. We have felt for a very long time a sense of "beyond our control" hanging over our heads. The fall of the US dollar has been "beyond our control". The amount of mission support we received in Ireland was "beyond our control". The rising cost of living has been "beyond our control". The current non-event of the sale of our home in Ireland is "beyond our control". Our joblessness has been "beyond our control".

The bright ones among you will notice how much of this "beyond our control" pressure has come from all things financial. This also gives you considerable insight into one of the areas of greatest insecurity in my life. There are a lot of things I can control, but the fear of not having enough...well, it controls me. Few things shake me more than financial insecurity. The same could be said for many of us.

I offer this confession, not for your counsel or criticism -- although some are predisposed to do so anyhow -- but simply as a testimony to one man's fear and weakness being continually met by the abundant provision of God's grace. Leaving Ireland was difficult on many levels -- the grief of leaving friends, the stress of moving internationally, and moving from the culture we love. But, the gritty, sloppy exhibition of my humanity has been most openly displayed with the unveiling of this fiscal insecurity.

So, I will confess of the Father's merciful provision, I will trust Him rather than myself, I will admit that not an ounce of personal security comes from money anyhow, and I will repent of the irrational fears that have consumed me. Knowing me, I'll probably repeat the process quite a few times.

Things are looking up. We have potential jobs, and we put down a deposit on a rental house on Cherry Street in Denver, Colorado just this week. The financial fears can loom large, but we are making decisions to move forward despite them and are once again beginning to dream about our lives and the journey of life and faith ahead.

So there you have it...confession complete.

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods" (Psalm 40:2-4).

Unity

Update on the Western Front

For those following the drama, I've been in Denver, Colorado since Sunday. During that time, I have been called into three interviews in a row with a nonprofit organization that works with at-risk youth in the Denver Metro area in cooperation with public schools and youth correctional facilities. All three interviews have gone well, and I have enjoyed them.

My second interview was a bit strange. They brought me before eight women and had me teach a ten minute class on a topic of my choice. They weren't so much interested in my teaching ability as much as they were curious how I would handle distraction and poor student behavior -- which they were all too glad to provide. I found the whole experience to be rather strange. How do you role play disciplining the very people who are there to hire you? At least I didn't throw up...

My third interview was with two representatives from Lookout Mountain Youth Correctional Facility in Golden, Colorado. This is one of the teaching positions they are considering me for. Lookout Mnt. is a maximum security prison for youth between 16 and 20. If offered the job, I will be teaching life skills and offering one-on-one mentoring within the confines of the prison. Sounds like an incredible opportunity!

Despite all the good interviews, the process isn't quite over. I continue to wait and will no doubt have at least one more interview, probably within the Correctional facility itself. We appreciate your on-going prayers on our behalf.

Brenda had an amazing phone interview with another nonprofit organization here in Denver yesterday. The organization she has applied for is a street level nonprofit that helps with social welfare and rights for minorities, undocumented workers, and the poor. She is thrilled with how her conversations have gone with her interviewers, and we hope she will get a follow up interview within a couple weeks. This group does amazing work in the Denver area, and I believe it does an important work that is close to the heart of God.

Also, we have a house! I placed a deposit down on a home on Cherry Street in the Denver metro area. A friend of ours -- and a former HOPE intern with us in Ireland -- will be moving in with us later in the summer.

There's more updating to be done, but this update from the west will do for now.

Weakness

At a time when authenticity seems to be a rare but sought after commodity, it's good to be reminded that we don't always need to put our best face forward. There is a place for weakness and vulnerability...

The Myth of Flawlessness

There's a myth that has woven itself into the fabric of Christian thought that says the goal of our faith is to make perfect people. I don't think the Christian faith is about being finished and perfect; it is, rather, trusting God in our unfinishedness. Any perfection that happens in our lives is simply the result of the finished work of the Jesus. Both Philippians 1:6 and Hebrews 12:2 talk about how Jesus began the good work in our lives, and it will be completed by him. The scriptures even teach us that Jesus will take great delight in presenting us to the Father completed and perfected by him (Jude 24). It's in the mess of our weakness that our spiritual health and faith begins to grow and mature. It's in the mess of our weakness that we are met by a merciful God. We need to be flawed human beings to experience the fullness of what God has for us. There's no back up plan for the strong and perfect!

Pretending Kills the Authentic

Like Adam and Eve, we try to hide and conceal our emptiness and shame. If the strategy for concealing our emptiness is hiding, then the strategy for filling our emptiness is performing. When we perform, we display for others what we judge as good while hiding what we assume others will see as wrong in us. We display only what will get other's approval. While this sounds quite normal to us, it is actually a spiritual problem: we create the hypocrisy we hate. Living by hiding and pretending isn't life! I believe that the community of Christ should be a place of transparency and honesty, where people are free to share openly about their weaknesses, struggles, and sin so that they can be met with the healing grace of God (James 5:16). I also believe that such transparency protects our witness in the world. I am convinced that it is not our faults and struggles that harm our witness but our pretending that we don't have any faults or struggles. Our pretense kills authentic relationship and authentic witness.

God's Sufficiency & Grace

Some things dont' get fixed. We shouldn't presume that God will fix our weaknesses and inadequacies. He didn't do it for Paul, and He may not do it for us. Acually, we need our weaknesses. in 2 Corninthians 12, Paul begged the Father to take away his "thorn" because he did not want to be a weak man. Rather than removing the affliction, God's remedy was grace -- "you will know my grace as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death". We don't know what Paul's weakness was, but whatever he wrestled with, it forced him to be completely dependent upon God. In a way, his weakness was his umbilical cord to the Father. Paul was met by the mercy of God in his weakness, and the power of God was demonstrated through this man -- despite his inadequacy. If he didn't have the wound, he wouldn't have had the power. This is the way the Father always does things; He always uses the weak "to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Corinthians 4:7).

Wholeness in our Brokenness

When we try to make the scriptures endorse a life of denial, the power of truth gets lost. It does us no good to affirm the reality of our identity in Christ and at the same time deny the reality of our struggles and weakness. The affirmation of his identity in us should never deny the humanity in us. We believe in the mercy of God who meets humanity at its greatest point of need. Where the real Jesus meets the real us is the place the unique work of Christ takes place in our life. When we admit the truth about ourselves and by faith trust God to do what only He can do, we are placed in Christ -- and are "hidden with Christ in God" (Colossians 3:3). Truthfulness is the starting point for change.

Growing in Grace

Although our culture treats weakness as failure, God sees it as a universal human experience. There's something to be said for accepting our limitations as a gift from God. In Jesus' story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15), there was one primary difference between the younger (prodigal) son and the older son. The younger son was painfully aware of his neediness, but his older brother was caught up in his own rightness and morality. The younger knew he was lost. In our weakness, we experience the grace of God, and the more we know the grace of God for ourselves, the more we will live with grace towards others. One of the greatest benefits for embracing the journey of weakness and brokenness is that weak and broken people will be drawn to the grace of God that we have experienced. As we share with others out of our own vulnerable places, people will trust us more. While we may not be able to understand their particular struggle, we can empathize with their weakness and begin to introduce them to the One who can give them life! As we live in God's grace, we will grow in grace for those He loves. Our weakness tunes us into His heart.

This article has been re-posted from my blog HOPE, originally posted on February 20, 2007.

Separation

Close to God

I tend to be a bit skeptical of formulas when applied to the Christian faith. We calculate our formulas of faith and preach them with all the conviction our enlightened reason can muster. We have our "12 Steps to Knowing God", our "Four Spiritual Laws", and our three-point sermons -- all meant to make our understanding of God so tidy...and scientific. I think the Age of Reason demanded such an approach, but in our present age, people are crying out for something more.

I know a lot of genuine people who are craving closeness with God. Their search for God is not merely an objective one (verified by fact alone) but is more subjective (defined by experience and relationship). But, ask the question "How do you get closer to God?" and you will most likely hear the following response: read your bible, pray, don't sin -- and if you're really spiritual -- fast. It sounds so, well -- methodical.

Read the bible + pray + don't sin = relationship with God.

Really? Is it that simple? Don't get me wrong...I agree that reading the bible, praying, avoiding sin, and fasting are good things -- but I am not convinced that these things alone get us closer to God. If that were the case, then why are so many reading, praying, fasting, "not-sinning" Christians feeling so empty and stale? The answer for them always seems to be read MORE, pray MORE, fast MORE, sin LESS. No matter how much we pray and read, we can never pray and read enough. More is required, and the guilt compounds.

Could it be possible that my relationship with God is not based on my efforts? What a novel -- and biblical -- idea!

Does closeness with God come from accumulated knowledge and other spiritual disciplines alone? Or does closeness with God come from His love and grace capturing our heart and transforming us to be like Jesus? I think intimacy with the Father is demonstrated when we love and care for the people the Father loves.

We are living in an age when a generation is demanding relationships that are authentic and transformational, and their search for truth will not be satisfied through reason alone. The truth of Jesus Christ is not merely an intellectual truth! He is a Truth that is transformational, experiential, and tangible. He is Truth in my mind. He is Truth in my heart. He is Truth in my soul. He is Truth in my body. He is Truth in my identity. He is Truth in my gut.

As this truth intersects with our messy, complicated, sloppy lives, the work of his love and grace is evident. It is not as tidy and methodical as many would like, but it is beautiful!

Letting Go of Self

Proverbs 4:23

Stirring the Pot

I was driving through the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia today when I passed a house with a sign that immediately caught my attention: "God is not spelled G-O-P". It tickled my funny bone, but it set me thinking.

As politicians proclaim themselves as American messiahs and political opponents play on the fears of their followers, it's easy for the rest of us to get caught up in the fray. When we throw faith and religion into the mix, we get that strange blend of American politics that bemuses the rest of the world.

It's clear that many of my fellow citizens passionately believe that the Republican Party is God's Party. On the other hand, I know so many people who believe the Democratic platforms of universal health care, concern for the poor, and not going to war sound a lot like Jesus. While many on the right seem predisposed to kill our enemies by going to war, many on the left seem well-inclined to support the murder of the unborn. It causes me to question who really has the higher ground? Both seem motivated by much, much more than a genuine benevolence for the people.

I find great relief in the fact that God is neither Democrat or Republican. And although we are inclined to attach His name to our agendas, He calls us to a higher place. "His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8).

I, like most of us, am fascinated by this presidential campaign. I will cast my vote, but I don't think I'll go so far as to put my hope in whom ever my candidate of choice will be.

It's good to stir the pot and pause to think about the God who transcends our politics.

For my Canadian & European friends, "GOP" stands for the "Grand Old Party", a.k.a. the Republican Party.

The Culture of Fear

I turned on the television this morning -- first mistake -- only to see a feature story focusing on an English newspaper that was predicting "The Great Depression of 2008" hitting the United States. It was only the latest in a series of articles, features, and political pundints predicting a dire future for the US economy. Apparently, we have much to be afraid of.

I lived in Ireland for the better part of the last eight years, an ocean away from much of what was happening in the United States. I adapted to my new home in Ireland -- and I felt the culture of fear that I believe is prevalent in America gradually deserting my mind and my spirit. It's that pervasive culture of fear that topped my list of things I was not looking forward to when returning to live in the United States.

People are afraid...but then again, we've always been afraid. When I was a kid, we feared communists and nuclear annihilation. We were so convinced that the Russians and their Latin American allies were going usher in the end of our way of life. And remember the whole Y2K fiasco? How many people horded supplies and expected the worse case scenario? The only real effect of Y2K was the boost in sales of generators, noodle packets, and doomsday books (many written by Christian authors).

Since then, our enemies have changed, and so have their tactics. We are afraid of them because they threaten our "way of life". The Chinese are going to take over the world. The bird flu is going to kill thousands. The ecomony is going to collapse. Liberals are going to destroy America. The earth is heating up. We're going to get older...and balder...and wrinklier...and fatter.

My spirit feels so violated with the continual barage of "be afraid! BE VERY AFRAID!" It causes me to wonder what "way of life" we're so hell bent on protecting. Seems to me like our culture of fear is cutting us off from our neighbors, from traveling, and from enjoying so many of those things we used to value. As we circle up the wagons to stay safe from all those things we're so convinced are going to do us harm, we in effect lose the very essence of freedom.

I have a quote on my desk that reads "MEMENTO VIVERE". When translated, it means "remember to live". My brother has one on his desk that reads "FEAR: False Expectations Appearing Real". Truth! I have come to believe that fear is an insidious, infectious parasite that consumes us from the inside out. It prevents us from having the abundant life that Jesus came to bring. It cuts us off from others, destroys our hopes, dashes our dreams, prevents us from taking risks, and steals our peace.

If our hope rests in the gods of this age (financial security, goverment, possessions, youth), then we may have reason to fear. I prefer the alternative found in the wisdom of the author of the Psalms: "The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life -- of whom shall I be afraid?" There are enough purveyors of panic and peddlers of despair shouting at us from all angles, but I am comforted only by the God who says that his perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).

Living in the Culture of Fear is a choice. For me, it is a daily struggle to "remember to live" in the shadow of the Almighty. But I am happier -- and healthier -- in that Place.