Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Name

I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Brenda.

When my wife was born, my mother-in-law wanted to give her a name that couldn't be shortened into a nickname. She got the name Brenda. Since we've been married, however, I've heard her called by a whole host of other names. In Ireland, she was often called Brid (pronounced "breeg"), Breeda, and Bridget. Here in the US, she's been called Barbara (my mother's name), Ray (which is our last name), and our landlord now thinks she is Linda.

We get a good laugh out of it when it happens. Still, it is nice when people get your name right.

Have you ever called someone by the wrong name and felt aweful for it? Three times last week, I passed a co-worker at my school and said "Hi John". I'm sure James didn't mind (too much), but I still felt like a snail as soon as the words came out of my mouth...all three times. I hate getting someone's name wrong. It really bothers me. It's personal.

I believe there's a deep need in the hearts of people to be known by others. For twenty years, I have been working with teens, and I know how much their struggle for identity and security and belonging can impact them and the decisions they make. I make it a point to know the name of every kid I work with, every teen I teach, and every young person who has ever been involved in my youth work.

That's a lot of kids.

When I know a student's name, I use it as I pass them in the hall or see them in the store or address them when teaching. I don't know if it makes a huge difference, but something tells me that knowing and using their name makes a subtle but profound impact. The more anonymity in our society and culture increases, the deeper and darker the personal search for identity will become. Something as simple as knowing someone's name can be a real gift, especially to someone who lives in crowded isolation.

"I exist to someone."

People are worth knowing, and it would be better for us all if we spent less time meandering in namelessness and more time learning to acknowledge the existence of others. Knowing someone's name makes them part of our story and connects us in meaningful interaction. It's good to be known.

"He calls his own sheep by name..." (John 10:3).


3 comments:

Jonathon Stalls said...

...ahh, great picture.!

Lamb said...

Same with myself. I hate calling people the wrong name. And I hate being called the wrong name. Like when people say "Ronie" or say the Irish translation of my name I get properly mad.
You're right, by the way. It does make a difference. It always did to me anyway. Anytime I passed you it's that same smile and that "Hey Ronan" that, just like you said, made me feel good that someone knew me and actually cared.
It's wonderful that you 'get' the teens, Mark. You where built to do this kind of stuff. Don't need to say "Keep up the good work, Champ" because I know that with or without prompting you'll still do the brilliant job you've always done. But I will say this;

Love you Mark.

Mary-Frances Kenney said...

One of the directors in my Mary Kay unit calls me Mary Loise. I've been working with her for a year now. We all clap for her when she gets it right. :)