It's hard to believe, but come autumn I will have been serving in ministry of one sort or another for twenty years as pastor, youth pastor, or missionary. I have spent most of my life among the Brethren*: baptized at age 10, called to ministry at age 18, licensed at 19, ordained at 30, and married at 33. I have been nurtured at the bossom of the Brethren and have been shaped by their unique approach to life and faith.
Suckled on the Word and immersed in the Great Commission, my understanding of Jesus illicited a response from me to give my life to serve him and his people. That adventure of faith has taken me to places far beyond where I could have imagined I would find myself and filled my life with the countless faces of people I have come to love. My experiences in the church have profoundly shaped my life -- for the better, I might add -- and it is those experiences and the example of Jesus that continue to shape me.
Things changed dramatically for me eight years ago when I moved to Ireland. For the first time in my life, I was taken out of church. I confess: I liked it out there. Catch your breath while I explain...
Being a missionary took me out of my culture (and my colored world-view), out of my country (and my surroundings of familiarity), and outside of the church. Never before had my life been filled with so many people who weren't part of my church (or any church for that matter). The whole experience led to a wonderful transition in my heart.
For years I felt an inner tension between what I read in the Gospels about Jesus and his interaction with people and how the church (me included) interacted with people. I couldn't reconcile the difference in my heart although I had found many reasons to justify it with my reason. I've struggled with the growing chasm between the church and everybody else. I've struggled with the church's attitude towards those outside itself. I've struggled with the concept of a church turned outside in -- a church chained to the pew and bound by the walls with little or no regard for those outside it.
To some, this may seem like criticism, and I'll be the first to admit that it probably is. But I know first-hand how the love of the church can change a life (I am one of those), and it grieves me when the Body of Christ is so turned inward and does little else but gather. As I lived on the "outside" as a missionary in Ireland, I began to notice my heart changing towards people. Honestly, the more I was among those "out there", the more I loved them -- and the more I feel called to them.
Brenda and I are leaving the paid employment of the church, but we are not leaving the church. How can you leave yourself? My heart always has been to make disciples (Matthew 28:19) -- to see lives transformed by the love of God -- and that's something that we will continue to give our lives to. To some, it may seem as though I am leaving my calling. To us, however, we're actually walking into it. We are making this move not out of protest but out of a growing love for those who need to know the love of God found in Jesus.
We're moving to Denver with no agenda but to love our neighbors and serve the community in which we live. What the Father wants to do with that is his prerogative. In the meantime, all I can do is be obedient to his stirring in my heart as we follow the example of Jesus.
*I grew up and was licensed to ministry in The Brethren Church. Most recently, we have served as missionaries to Ireland with The Brethren Church. In 1995, I became a member of the Church of the Brethren and was ordained by the Northern Indiana District in 2000. The Brethren family of churches celebrate their 300th anniversary this year! To find out more about these two Brethren bodies, you can go to http://www.brethrenchurch.org or http://www.brethren.org.
