Update from America's West

The move is complete. We arrived in Denver, Colorado on Sunday, May 16th. It was a long and miserable trip across the country. I went to a doctor in Iowa who diagnosed me with acute bronchitis. I am still feeling the lingering affects of it since I have not been able to take the necessary time to rest and get well.

Brenda had her first experience with her new job on Tuesday. She met everyone she will be working with and got a flavor for what all her job will entail. She will begin full-time work on Tuesday. I had a job interview on that same day, and I was offered a job teaching at risk youth at an alternative high school. I will begin teaching in July. We are so grateful for the Lord's provision. Income should start coming in mid-June...

We will have internet at our home next week, so I will begin to post more regularly on The Wayfarer at that time. Thanks to all of you who have supported and prayed for us! We are thankful for you!

Appreciation

When Brenda and I made the decision to return to the States from Ireland, we knew that one of the challenges we faced was finding a place to live. We didn't know where we were going to call home or where we were going to put down our roots. To be honest with you, we felt a bit lost and homeless. That's when we got the email from Brian and Amanda Moore inviting us to come to Maryland and make the transition in their furnished basement until we figured out where we wanted to go.

Since February, the Moore's have been our most gracious hosts, and we have valued our time with them. Brenda and I are so thankful for their generosity and hospitality. Not only have they provided a place for us to live & meals for us to eat, but they have provided an atmosphere for healing accompanied by their most valued friendship.

Brian and Amanda, thank you!

"I was a stranger, and you invited me in" -- Jesus (Matthew 25:35).

Mothers

Today we pray for:

• New mothers, coming to terms with new responsibility
• Expectant mothers, wondering and waiting
• Those who are tired, stressed or depressed
• Those who struggle to balance the tasks of work and family
• Those who are unable to feed their children due to poverty
• Those whose children have physical, mental or emotional disabilities
• Those who have children they do not want
• Those who raise children on their own
• Those who have lost a child
• Those who care for the children of others
• Those whose children have left home
• Those whose desire to be a mother has not been fulfilled
• Those who are grieving the loss of their mother
• Those who never knew their biological mother
• Those who have experienced the wonder of an adopted mother's love
• Those families separated by war or conflict

Bless all mothers, that their love may be deep and tender, and that they may lead their children to know and do what is good, living not for themselves alone, but for God and others.

Amen.

Author Unknown

I've Got Some Explaining to Do

It's hard to believe, but come autumn I will have been serving in ministry of one sort or another for twenty years as pastor, youth pastor, or missionary. I have spent most of my life among the Brethren*: baptized at age 10, called to ministry at age 18, licensed at 19, ordained at 30, and married at 33. I have been nurtured at the bossom of the Brethren and have been shaped by their unique approach to life and faith.

Suckled on the Word and immersed in the Great Commission, my understanding of Jesus illicited a response from me to give my life to serve him and his people. That adventure of faith has taken me to places far beyond where I could have imagined I would find myself and filled my life with the countless faces of people I have come to love. My experiences in the church have profoundly shaped my life -- for the better, I might add -- and it is those experiences and the example of Jesus that continue to shape me.

Things changed dramatically for me eight years ago when I moved to Ireland. For the first time in my life, I was taken out of church. I confess: I liked it out there. Catch your breath while I explain...

Being a missionary took me out of my culture (and my colored world-view), out of my country (and my surroundings of familiarity), and outside of the church. Never before had my life been filled with so many people who weren't part of my church (or any church for that matter). The whole experience led to a wonderful transition in my heart.

For years I felt an inner tension between what I read in the Gospels about Jesus and his interaction with people and how the church (me included) interacted with people. I couldn't reconcile the difference in my heart although I had found many reasons to justify it with my reason. I've struggled with the growing chasm between the church and everybody else. I've struggled with the church's attitude towards those outside itself. I've struggled with the concept of a church turned outside in -- a church chained to the pew and bound by the walls with little or no regard for those outside it.

To some, this may seem like criticism, and I'll be the first to admit that it probably is. But I know first-hand how the love of the church can change a life (I am one of those), and it grieves me when the Body of Christ is so turned inward and does little else but gather. As I lived on the "outside" as a missionary in Ireland, I began to notice my heart changing towards people. Honestly, the more I was among those "out there", the more I loved them -- and the more I feel called to them.

Brenda and I are leaving the paid employment of the church, but we are not leaving the church. How can you leave yourself? My heart always has been to make disciples (Matthew 28:19) -- to see lives transformed by the love of God -- and that's something that we will continue to give our lives to. To some, it may seem as though I am leaving my calling. To us, however, we're actually walking into it. We are making this move not out of protest but out of a growing love for those who need to know the love of God found in Jesus.

We're moving to Denver with no agenda but to love our neighbors and serve the community in which we live. What the Father wants to do with that is his prerogative. In the meantime, all I can do is be obedient to his stirring in my heart as we follow the example of Jesus.

*I grew up and was licensed to ministry in The Brethren Church. Most recently, we have served as missionaries to Ireland with The Brethren Church. In 1995, I became a member of the Church of the Brethren and was ordained by the Northern Indiana District in 2000. The Brethren family of churches celebrate their 300th anniversary this year! To find out more about these two Brethren bodies, you can go to http://www.brethrenchurch.org or http://www.brethren.org.

Live

Instinct

Another groundhog met its grim fate beneath the wheels of my truck today. I always feel a bit of remorse when I hit an animal, but today I felt responsible for the untimely death of this wayfaring woodchuck. You see, there's an abundance of groundhogs here in western Maryland, and I've been noticing a trend among those that have been found in front of my truck: their instinct causes them to run back to where they come from when they sense danger.

Today as I came upon my victim, I saw it crossing from the right to the left. As it neared the left side of the road, it noticed me bearing down on it...and ran back to where it had come from, crossing right into my path. I had a feeling it was going to do that, but I didn't slow down in time.

Squirrels, rabbits, woodchucks and others all seem to take this suicidal path their instincts tell them leads to safety. I don't know if it's the remorse of this event that caused me to become retrospective today, but I began to think about how often I've been tempted to do the same. In tough times in Ireland, my thoughts were constantly drawn back to the security of my friends in Indiana. During our challenges here in Maryland with our transition, we've been drawn back to the security of our home and friends in Ireland. My fear instinct always draws me back to where I think it's safer.

Having said that, we have the ability to over-ride our fears. I wonder how many times I've missed out on something really good for me or someone else because my fear convinced me to pursue what I thought was the safe option? At this point in our lives, Brenda and I are making the decision to move forward even as I deal with the anxieties we face. There is something (Someone) compelling us to move forward.

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe" (Proverbs 29:25). I would add that fear in general can be a trap. How many of us base our life decisions on fear? How many followers of Christ allow our fear to convince us that security and safety should be our number one pursuit?

The lesson of the groundhog for me today is simple: don't let your fear take you back to a place offering only false security.

"Jesus said, 'Anyone who begins to plow a field but keeps looking back is of no use in the kingdom of God'" (Luke 9:62).

It's Official...

It's official.

We're moving to Denver.

We booked our Penske truck for Wednesday, May 14th

and are due to arrive in Denver, Colorado on Sunday, May 18th.

Up

Up. It's where we're looking.

It's been a long several months since we made the decision to return to the States from our beloved Ireland. We have felt for a very long time a sense of "beyond our control" hanging over our heads. The fall of the US dollar has been "beyond our control". The amount of mission support we received in Ireland was "beyond our control". The rising cost of living has been "beyond our control". The current non-event of the sale of our home in Ireland is "beyond our control". Our joblessness has been "beyond our control".

The bright ones among you will notice how much of this "beyond our control" pressure has come from all things financial. This also gives you considerable insight into one of the areas of greatest insecurity in my life. There are a lot of things I can control, but the fear of not having enough...well, it controls me. Few things shake me more than financial insecurity. The same could be said for many of us.

I offer this confession, not for your counsel or criticism -- although some are predisposed to do so anyhow -- but simply as a testimony to one man's fear and weakness being continually met by the abundant provision of God's grace. Leaving Ireland was difficult on many levels -- the grief of leaving friends, the stress of moving internationally, and moving from the culture we love. But, the gritty, sloppy exhibition of my humanity has been most openly displayed with the unveiling of this fiscal insecurity.

So, I will confess of the Father's merciful provision, I will trust Him rather than myself, I will admit that not an ounce of personal security comes from money anyhow, and I will repent of the irrational fears that have consumed me. Knowing me, I'll probably repeat the process quite a few times.

Things are looking up. We have potential jobs, and we put down a deposit on a rental house on Cherry Street in Denver, Colorado just this week. The financial fears can loom large, but we are making decisions to move forward despite them and are once again beginning to dream about our lives and the journey of life and faith ahead.

So there you have it...confession complete.

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods" (Psalm 40:2-4).

Unity

Update on the Western Front

For those following the drama, I've been in Denver, Colorado since Sunday. During that time, I have been called into three interviews in a row with a nonprofit organization that works with at-risk youth in the Denver Metro area in cooperation with public schools and youth correctional facilities. All three interviews have gone well, and I have enjoyed them.

My second interview was a bit strange. They brought me before eight women and had me teach a ten minute class on a topic of my choice. They weren't so much interested in my teaching ability as much as they were curious how I would handle distraction and poor student behavior -- which they were all too glad to provide. I found the whole experience to be rather strange. How do you role play disciplining the very people who are there to hire you? At least I didn't throw up...

My third interview was with two representatives from Lookout Mountain Youth Correctional Facility in Golden, Colorado. This is one of the teaching positions they are considering me for. Lookout Mnt. is a maximum security prison for youth between 16 and 20. If offered the job, I will be teaching life skills and offering one-on-one mentoring within the confines of the prison. Sounds like an incredible opportunity!

Despite all the good interviews, the process isn't quite over. I continue to wait and will no doubt have at least one more interview, probably within the Correctional facility itself. We appreciate your on-going prayers on our behalf.

Brenda had an amazing phone interview with another nonprofit organization here in Denver yesterday. The organization she has applied for is a street level nonprofit that helps with social welfare and rights for minorities, undocumented workers, and the poor. She is thrilled with how her conversations have gone with her interviewers, and we hope she will get a follow up interview within a couple weeks. This group does amazing work in the Denver area, and I believe it does an important work that is close to the heart of God.

Also, we have a house! I placed a deposit down on a home on Cherry Street in the Denver metro area. A friend of ours -- and a former HOPE intern with us in Ireland -- will be moving in with us later in the summer.

There's more updating to be done, but this update from the west will do for now.

Weakness

At a time when authenticity seems to be a rare but sought after commodity, it's good to be reminded that we don't always need to put our best face forward. There is a place for weakness and vulnerability...

The Myth of Flawlessness

There's a myth that has woven itself into the fabric of Christian thought that says the goal of our faith is to make perfect people. I don't think the Christian faith is about being finished and perfect; it is, rather, trusting God in our unfinishedness. Any perfection that happens in our lives is simply the result of the finished work of the Jesus. Both Philippians 1:6 and Hebrews 12:2 talk about how Jesus began the good work in our lives, and it will be completed by him. The scriptures even teach us that Jesus will take great delight in presenting us to the Father completed and perfected by him (Jude 24). It's in the mess of our weakness that our spiritual health and faith begins to grow and mature. It's in the mess of our weakness that we are met by a merciful God. We need to be flawed human beings to experience the fullness of what God has for us. There's no back up plan for the strong and perfect!

Pretending Kills the Authentic

Like Adam and Eve, we try to hide and conceal our emptiness and shame. If the strategy for concealing our emptiness is hiding, then the strategy for filling our emptiness is performing. When we perform, we display for others what we judge as good while hiding what we assume others will see as wrong in us. We display only what will get other's approval. While this sounds quite normal to us, it is actually a spiritual problem: we create the hypocrisy we hate. Living by hiding and pretending isn't life! I believe that the community of Christ should be a place of transparency and honesty, where people are free to share openly about their weaknesses, struggles, and sin so that they can be met with the healing grace of God (James 5:16). I also believe that such transparency protects our witness in the world. I am convinced that it is not our faults and struggles that harm our witness but our pretending that we don't have any faults or struggles. Our pretense kills authentic relationship and authentic witness.

God's Sufficiency & Grace

Some things dont' get fixed. We shouldn't presume that God will fix our weaknesses and inadequacies. He didn't do it for Paul, and He may not do it for us. Acually, we need our weaknesses. in 2 Corninthians 12, Paul begged the Father to take away his "thorn" because he did not want to be a weak man. Rather than removing the affliction, God's remedy was grace -- "you will know my grace as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death". We don't know what Paul's weakness was, but whatever he wrestled with, it forced him to be completely dependent upon God. In a way, his weakness was his umbilical cord to the Father. Paul was met by the mercy of God in his weakness, and the power of God was demonstrated through this man -- despite his inadequacy. If he didn't have the wound, he wouldn't have had the power. This is the way the Father always does things; He always uses the weak "to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Corinthians 4:7).

Wholeness in our Brokenness

When we try to make the scriptures endorse a life of denial, the power of truth gets lost. It does us no good to affirm the reality of our identity in Christ and at the same time deny the reality of our struggles and weakness. The affirmation of his identity in us should never deny the humanity in us. We believe in the mercy of God who meets humanity at its greatest point of need. Where the real Jesus meets the real us is the place the unique work of Christ takes place in our life. When we admit the truth about ourselves and by faith trust God to do what only He can do, we are placed in Christ -- and are "hidden with Christ in God" (Colossians 3:3). Truthfulness is the starting point for change.

Growing in Grace

Although our culture treats weakness as failure, God sees it as a universal human experience. There's something to be said for accepting our limitations as a gift from God. In Jesus' story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15), there was one primary difference between the younger (prodigal) son and the older son. The younger son was painfully aware of his neediness, but his older brother was caught up in his own rightness and morality. The younger knew he was lost. In our weakness, we experience the grace of God, and the more we know the grace of God for ourselves, the more we will live with grace towards others. One of the greatest benefits for embracing the journey of weakness and brokenness is that weak and broken people will be drawn to the grace of God that we have experienced. As we share with others out of our own vulnerable places, people will trust us more. While we may not be able to understand their particular struggle, we can empathize with their weakness and begin to introduce them to the One who can give them life! As we live in God's grace, we will grow in grace for those He loves. Our weakness tunes us into His heart.

This article has been re-posted from my blog HOPE, originally posted on February 20, 2007.

Separation