Hide

"...confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed" (James 5:15).

The most common threat every child carries with them in their prepubescent vocabulary is the phrase "I'm going to tell on you!" Such threats can strike fear into the hearts of children in playgrounds and on monkey bars everywhere. Generally, there were just a handful of students who had the reputation of being tattlers, but we learned to avoid them altogether or alter our conversation and behavior whenever they came around. We learned how to survive by mistrusting those who couldn't keep their mouth shut or pretending to be doing something else whenever they were around.

As adults, we've perfected these techniques first learned in childhood. We were taught to hide, but we mastered concealment and secrecy by our teen years and on into adulthood. This, unfortunately, can have serious consequences for our mental health and even spiritual development and transformation. Our emotional, mental, and spiritual health is always tied into community, so whenever we attempt to "go at it alone", we seldom find success or resolve -- quite the opposite, in fact. Community, especially authentic Christian community that is immersed in wisdom and grace, has trememdous power to transform and heal. Despite biblical counsel to confess our sins to one another, it is probably not broadly practiced among believers today. It may be normal to hide, but it is not healthy.

"...confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed" (James 5:15).

I think there are generally two reasons why people hide their struggles and sins, soft spots and sore points: shame and protection. I can understand both. No one likes to air their dirty laundry in the presence of others. Shame and the subsequent act of hiding is one of the oldest recorded behaviors of man (Genesis 3). God, in his mercy, made a covering for them so they would not be ashamed. So, too, should we be careful to cover those who have either been made vulnerable or have exposed themselves by their own choosing.

As far as protection, anyone who has had the awful experience of having their secrets or insecurities used as leverage against them by people who seek to manipulate and control has obvious and credible reasons to keep themselves tucked safely away. Why would anyone openly invite judgment, condemnation, ridicule, or isolation? I am convinced many people don't seek out confession within the Body of Christ because they do not feel safe to do so.

Our fear of one another causes us to bear false witness.

Hiding, among other things, prevents us from experiencing transformative grace, robs us of authentic living and deep community, increases our isolation, feeds self-destruction, and stunts the spiritual maturity and growth of the church. It gives us a sense of false-security but never quite takes away the fear of being found out. That's why the security is false.

When I first went into ministry, there were any number of elder pastors who advised me to be sure to never develop deepened, trusting relationships within the congregations I served. While I should move close to the people I was called to serve, I was advised never to allow them too close to me. For some reason, it was important to keep the insecure, weak, or worried parts of me hidden while the man of strength took center stage. I don't believe this now, and -- quite frankly -- it didn't sit right with me when I first heard it. What an unhealthy approach to life (and ministry)!

One of those irkish little things about being a pastor is how quickly some people morph and change their behavior whenever I am around. I say "some" because I have been priviledged to be around many truly authentic people. Just occasionally, I get to witness the verbal acrobatics some people perform in order to pull off the act of concealment. It's awkward. It makes me feel awkward, and they look awkward. I prefer the company of the authentic over pretense and posturing any day, yet I can understand why some would do it.

I can never forget those countless moments with youth and grown men who have quietly, in the confines of safe places, relieved themselves of the secrets of their hearts, the battles of the mind, or the bruises of yesteryear and found healing and redemption in Christ. I have seen grown men weep and broken men laugh as the mercy of God intersected with their greatest need.

Often I have heard comments about how young people these days are "so far out there". I believe what we are often observing is their backlash against face, pretense, and hiding -- a rebellion against the inauthentic...and this is one of the traits of post-modernism. They want to be known. While I can appreciate their "soul streak", many of them still lack the community and support of those who can offer the foundational things that they are craving. I dream of a church with a heart prepared to engage and serve others at their greatest point of need.

The survival techniques of our youth don't necessarily do us any good as we grow towards maturity. The challenge is in finding our way forward...

Next article "Transparency".

Outrageous

"...grace and truth came through Jesus..." (John 1:17).

"There's a lot of pain -- but a lot more healing.

There's a lot of trouble -- but a lot more peace.

There's a lot of hate -- but a lot more loving.

There's a lot of sin -- but a lot more grace.

Outrageous grace!

Outrageous grace!

Love unfurled by heaven's hand!

Outrageous grace!

Outrageous grace!

Through my Jesus I can stand!

There's a lot of fear -- but a lot more freedom.

There's a lot of darkness -- but a lot more light.

There's a lot of doubt -- but a lot more vision.

There's a lot of perishing -- but a lot more life."

Lyrics by Robin Mark

Security

"Security is mostly superstition. " (Helen Keller).

I have been writing an article for some while on the competing dreams of what Jesus spoke of in the Kingdom of God verses the American dream. At the top of the list was this idea of security and how much of our lives are lived in the pursuit of it. Safety (or at least the appearance of it) is very important to us. Although we live in a post-9-11 era and America seems much more fearful, I just didn't feel as though I quite had a handle on what I was writing.

Then we got robbed.

I received the phone call yesterday that our home had been invaded and a few things had walked off with our uninvited guests. Of course, it has shaken us. Shock turns to panic which turns to fear which turns to anger. Typical reactions, I'm sure. It's not too difficult, though, to come to grips with the loss of stuff or even the property damage left behind, but a home invasion brings with it a loss of security and feelings of vulnerability.

It's not just stuff that gets stolen.

From time to time, I am reminded that the world is such an insecure place. Perhaps those reality checks can help me to identify with how most of the world really lives most of the time. How many people consistently live with the possibility of the loss of property, loss of security, loss of dignity, or loss of life? Anyone at anytime can take those things away from me, so I suppose it's best not to trust in stuff or even in personal security. Those who trust Christ and live in those parts of the world have a deeper understanding of many of Jesus' teachings then I will ever have! I am learning that my security has to come from some place that no man can touch.

The words of Jesus always seem to run counter to my nature. My desire for economic compensation and justice (or, dare I say it, retribution) compete with what I know he taught on the subject. I suppose it's easy to be nonviolent when you're not the one being aggrieved!

Jesus said in Luke 6:29 that if someone takes from me my cloak, I am not to stop him from taking my tunic as well. The cloak was an outer garment for warmth and protection from the elements while the tunic was an outer garment that covered you up (like a shirt and trousers do for us today). The loss of the cloak would have meant exposure to the elements while the loss of the tunic would have meant exposure and vulnerability of another kind. Giving up your tunic would have left you feeling a bit more exposed in public.

Indeed.

We will struggle for a little while longer with feeling a bit more "exposed" and insecure in our neighborhood. Perhaps it will take even longer to come to grips with how Jesus taught us to love our enemies in context of Luke 6:27-36. One thing I am sure of when I read Jesus...loving our enemies requires us to count the cost, and I am learning that the Way of Christ runs on a very different economy than the American way.

Safe

Free Thoughts

"Coercion merely captures man. Freedom captivates him" (R.Reagan).

Is there liberty in Christ? I believe there is although it seems at times to be so clouded over and hidden from us. So many people seem to trade one form of slavery for another, choosing between the shackles of Christian religion gone amuck and the charms and vices of the kind of selfish living the world espouses. If those are our only choices, I wonder which one those who long to be free would choose? Neither sounds appealing.

In Christ, does free mean free? If it doesn't, then let's call it by another name. Free sounds like free. Not a little free. Not sort-of free. All free or not all free. Which is it?

Are we free to throw off the yoke of the oppressor? Are we free to reject religious bondage, even if masked as Christ? Are we free to leave those who would enslave us, coerce us, control us, or shame us in Christ's name? Yes. Yes. And yes.

When I think of Christ, I think of freedom. When I think of freedom, I think of Christ. Freedom is inextricably linked to my experience of life and faith in Christ. Where his spirit is, freedom is. Inseparable.

If free is free, I am free from the fear of death and free from the fears of life. I am free from self-imposed curses and shackles of my own making. I am free from those who would enslave and free from heartless religion that can entomb the living dead. I am free from the past, and I am free in the future. I am free from the inside to the outside, free from the core of me. All of me free.

If free is free, I am free to risk, hope, dream, step out, and step into. I am free to forgive. I am free to have a clear conscience. I am free to fail. I am free to be wrong without doing wrong. I am free to be weak and free to be strong. I am free to be and free not to be.

I am free to have more questions than I do answers.

This I'm sure of: our freedom at his cost bids our participation, a recognition that our freedom is not free of responsibility. Should I choose to bring condemnation, coercion, or a curse with me where I go, I am in competition with the Spirit of Christ. Love, after all, does not possess or control but gives freedom. I have been freed for the benefit of others.

When we have an awareness of our inestimable worth and his indescribable gift, we neither wish to cheapen his grace with our freedom or cheapen his grace by the limits we insist on placing on it. I think we are in love with freedom and terrified of it at the same time!

While I may wrestle with what freedom in Christ is, I am more certain of what freedom in Christ isn't. I wasn't born yesterday, so it is a hard sell to convince me that Christian freedom is manipulative, controlling, legalistic, or in anyway resembles the religious yoke Jesus broke! I am still looking for his middle way.

I am free to figure it out.

Feeding on Fear

"Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here."

I've commented before on The Wayfarer about the culture of fear that I see being so widespread in our American society. We are bombarded daily with media messages that feed us fear. If you are like me, I've had enough of the smorgasbord of dread and despair that is handed to us daily by politicians, economists, and those other agitators of alarm. Our fear benefits those who want us to be afraid!

Jean de La Fontaine said, "Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear..." I've learned a lot about myself in 2008, and I've come to realize how easily my life can be gripped by fear. I have felt the tug and tension of both fear and faith pulling at my life simultaneously. I've learned that faith does not eliminate fear but is an awareness of the presence of God when I am afraid. And I am learning that faith is not the antithesis of fear: love is! (1 John 4:18).

Since fear is a learned behavior, I suppose it is something I can also unlearn. I can hand back any fear that is handed to me and choose, instead, to rest in that place of peace and security, love and mercy that is found in Jesus. I am certainly happier in that place, and why I choose to accept the fear handed to me remains a mystery.

Fears

Self-Imposed Limitations

Dozens of times a day, I hear the words "I can't" from my very capable class of students, and dozens of times a day, I remind them that the only limitations on them are the ones that are self-imposed. I am sure that many of my kids come from situations in which they have been quite limited. Their immediate retreat to the "I can't" zone is either out of habit or out of security. It is very difficult for them to take risk, face change, or get outside of their sector of security and familiarity.

I went with several students to a ropes course in the Rockies a few weeks back, and I was curious about one student in particular during a high ropes element. She made her fear of heights well-known but still managed to climb the 30-foot high cave ladder, walk across a guidewire suspended 30 feet in the air, and repel down at the end. As she was successfully accomplishing her goal, she kept repeating the words "I can't" and "I'm scared". But she did it! Her words were communicating one thing while her actions were proving the opposite. She was quite capable.

I think the human brain is quite powerful, as created by God. I also think that the limitations we place in our own thinking can act as somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever we think we will not be able to do, we probably will not do. Many of us hardly ever push ourselves beyond our self-imposed limitations. Those limits are formed out of habit and through our own need for security.

I've heard people say that it's good to know your limits, and some might argue that it's OK to stay on the safe side of life. I am just not so sure that much good gets accomplished when we seek after safety and security. I am not at all convinced that seeking safety and security is a formula for faith, even though we have probably unconsciously written safety and security into our theology.

I know many people who have risked much in their own life and for the sake of others. I have read countless stories of men and women of faith who went well beyond their own personal limitations to do what they believed God was calling them to do. I don't recall having ever read a story in the scriptures in which God chose a self-confident blowhard. Instead, I read about men and women who struggled to overcome their own insecurities, doubts, and limitations.

Every day, I am reminded of my own limitations, and every day I have to decide whether to live in faith -- trusting that the Father has me where I am for His purposes -- or live in fear and my own limitations. Every day can be a battle to overcome the onslaught of "I can't" or "I'm not capable". Every day there is a choice to be made whether I am going to get out of myself or stay locked up in my false cocoon of security. Every day.

Our self-imposed limitations keep us from people and keep us from stepping outside of ourselves to live as Jesus did in this world. Those limitations will keep us from our neighbor, keep us from serving one another, and keep us from living as His in this world. Retreating into our own communes of faith, our own homes, or even into ourself hardly seems compatable with the Jesus who interfaced with humanity to bring hope, life, and love.

It may be good to know our limitations, but I don't think it's good to limit the work of God in our life (or through our life) by our small thinking. The followers of Christ in the scriptures battled constantly with this. The counsel of their Leader offered them hope and an omnipotent perspective on life: "With man, this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).

Instinct

Another groundhog met its grim fate beneath the wheels of my truck today. I always feel a bit of remorse when I hit an animal, but today I felt responsible for the untimely death of this wayfaring woodchuck. You see, there's an abundance of groundhogs here in western Maryland, and I've been noticing a trend among those that have been found in front of my truck: their instinct causes them to run back to where they come from when they sense danger.

Today as I came upon my victim, I saw it crossing from the right to the left. As it neared the left side of the road, it noticed me bearing down on it...and ran back to where it had come from, crossing right into my path. I had a feeling it was going to do that, but I didn't slow down in time.

Squirrels, rabbits, woodchucks and others all seem to take this suicidal path their instincts tell them leads to safety. I don't know if it's the remorse of this event that caused me to become retrospective today, but I began to think about how often I've been tempted to do the same. In tough times in Ireland, my thoughts were constantly drawn back to the security of my friends in Indiana. During our challenges here in Maryland with our transition, we've been drawn back to the security of our home and friends in Ireland. My fear instinct always draws me back to where I think it's safer.

Having said that, we have the ability to over-ride our fears. I wonder how many times I've missed out on something really good for me or someone else because my fear convinced me to pursue what I thought was the safe option? At this point in our lives, Brenda and I are making the decision to move forward even as I deal with the anxieties we face. There is something (Someone) compelling us to move forward.

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe" (Proverbs 29:25). I would add that fear in general can be a trap. How many of us base our life decisions on fear? How many followers of Christ allow our fear to convince us that security and safety should be our number one pursuit?

The lesson of the groundhog for me today is simple: don't let your fear take you back to a place offering only false security.

"Jesus said, 'Anyone who begins to plow a field but keeps looking back is of no use in the kingdom of God'" (Luke 9:62).