"When mindfulness and attention embrace those we love, they will bloom like flowers."A few years back, I was asked to teach a seminar in Ireland on youth ministry. In preparation for the event, I sent a quick email to many of my former youth asking them what was the single-most impacting part of my work with them. My former students were unanimous in their response: You gave us time.
I remain convinced that one of the most important gifts you can give someone is your presence. To "be there" is a rare thing these days, and just showing up can have tremendous and life-changing effects on a kid. It's quite humbling to know that nothing I ever taught, no program I ever created, no event I ever coordinated or overseas mission trip I ever organized made the impact that intentional time did. I've given a lot of sweat, energy, and time to program but time made all the difference.
Instead of spending so much time creating youth programming to compete with the world for their attention, I learned that the greatest asset I had was to simply be present in their lives.
Thinking back to my own childhood, it wasn't the advice of a father I missed; it was his presence. By and large, it's the absence of present people that seems to have the most significant detrimental impact on many of the teens I work with.
Authentic presence is a real gift to people. It's like giving the gift of you. Presence made one of the biggest differences in my life when growing up. There once was a man that God gave me as a gift. He was my pastor. Whenever I showed up, he dropped what he was doing and gave me countless, uninterrupted hours of his time. I don't remember much of what he ever said to me, but his time made all the difference. I thank God for Paul's presence. It's what I needed to get me through those years relatively intact!
We need to value being present with people. What we say when we're not screams volumes. We need to learn to turn off the cell phone and television and lay aside our schedules for those whose lives need our presence.
It is the perfect gift.
1 comment:
I must say, my friend, that it was your time spent with me at the end of high school/beginning of college that drew me in. You were strageically placed by God in my life, and I have Him to thanks for that. It is, I would say, responsible in some sense for where I am today, serving Jesus in the ministry.
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