I Heart You

Ooey, gooey.

Do you remember those Valentine's Day parties we always had in elementary school? We'd spend hours making our envelope or box from red and pink construction paper which would be placed on the front of our desk in eager anticipation of the delivery of little Valentines from our classmates. I always held onto hope that someone's parents would drop a little extra cash and buy those conversation hearts instead.

I don't remember many of those Valentine's Day parties, but fifth grade seems to stand out to me the most. Fifth grade is when -- at least in my day -- we lost our innocence and Valentine's Day became political! I wasn't very happy about giving Valentines to the students I didn't like, and I wondered ahead of time whether or not I was going to receive one from everyone in the class. My sense of juvenile justice made me cynical of the whole thing, and my suspicions were confirmed when I got stiffed by Suzie (her name is being concealed to protect her identity!). To my delight, however, I recall there being an abundance of boxes of conversation hearts that year.

Looking back on it, I probably began to lose my innocence around the fifth grade and started to open my eyes to how the world works. It was in fifth grade that I began to question people's motives and to be cynical of the disingenuous giving of those little Valentine cards. Perhaps it was the first time I began to see "love" as competition and personal gain. Where did that fourth grade excitement of dropping a little card into everyone's boxes go just one year later?

To be honest with you, I am not much of a fan of Valentine's Day. I find the whole thing rather contrived...put on...sort of a capitalistic conspiracy to force people to buy over-priced gooey things. I see my female students and friends agonizingly looking for validation as if this day determines their net worth, and I see my male students and friends folding under the pressure to buy whatever they can to "prove their love". Rather than genuine love, it seems like insecurity too often wins the day.

I don't want to poo poo on your goo goo if Valentine's Day is something extra special for you and your loved one. Love -- genuine love -- should be celebrated. I, for one, love my wife deeply, and I am so thankful to have her in my life. I bought her a box of chocolates and a card in which I wrote a few sentences. I didn't buy her flowers (and hardly ever do), because loving my wife takes into account that she is allergic to them.

Because I love her, she doesn't need derive her source of validation or proof of my love from this one day as commanded by the calendar. I love her in the promise of our marriage -- for better or worse, for richer or poorer. I love her everyday. She is my greatest gift!

We don't know much about the origins of St. Valentine's Day, but we do know that it is a feast day to celebrate the martyrdom (yes, martyrdom) of a saint (or saints) who did not renounce their faith and were put to death at the hands of Emperor Claudius in the year 280. I am not sure just how St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers, but to give up your life for another is the greatest demonstration of love (John 15:13). His was a love that was loyal, genuine, and self-less. That's the kind of love worth celebrating.

I'll be spending the day with some people that I truly love: my wife, my brother, my friends. I will be saying farewell to a new friend who is moving to San Diego and go out for some ribs with my extended family tonight. Nothing says "I love you" like ribs (remember, it was a rib that was taken from Adam's side to create Eve!). I am reminded of my love for all those around us, and I am happy to celebrate love -- genuine love -- wherever I see it.