I Heart You

Ooey, gooey.

Do you remember those Valentine's Day parties we always had in elementary school? We'd spend hours making our envelope or box from red and pink construction paper which would be placed on the front of our desk in eager anticipation of the delivery of little Valentines from our classmates. I always held onto hope that someone's parents would drop a little extra cash and buy those conversation hearts instead.

I don't remember many of those Valentine's Day parties, but fifth grade seems to stand out to me the most. Fifth grade is when -- at least in my day -- we lost our innocence and Valentine's Day became political! I wasn't very happy about giving Valentines to the students I didn't like, and I wondered ahead of time whether or not I was going to receive one from everyone in the class. My sense of juvenile justice made me cynical of the whole thing, and my suspicions were confirmed when I got stiffed by Suzie (her name is being concealed to protect her identity!). To my delight, however, I recall there being an abundance of boxes of conversation hearts that year.

Looking back on it, I probably began to lose my innocence around the fifth grade and started to open my eyes to how the world works. It was in fifth grade that I began to question people's motives and to be cynical of the disingenuous giving of those little Valentine cards. Perhaps it was the first time I began to see "love" as competition and personal gain. Where did that fourth grade excitement of dropping a little card into everyone's boxes go just one year later?

To be honest with you, I am not much of a fan of Valentine's Day. I find the whole thing rather contrived...put on...sort of a capitalistic conspiracy to force people to buy over-priced gooey things. I see my female students and friends agonizingly looking for validation as if this day determines their net worth, and I see my male students and friends folding under the pressure to buy whatever they can to "prove their love". Rather than genuine love, it seems like insecurity too often wins the day.

I don't want to poo poo on your goo goo if Valentine's Day is something extra special for you and your loved one. Love -- genuine love -- should be celebrated. I, for one, love my wife deeply, and I am so thankful to have her in my life. I bought her a box of chocolates and a card in which I wrote a few sentences. I didn't buy her flowers (and hardly ever do), because loving my wife takes into account that she is allergic to them.

Because I love her, she doesn't need derive her source of validation or proof of my love from this one day as commanded by the calendar. I love her in the promise of our marriage -- for better or worse, for richer or poorer. I love her everyday. She is my greatest gift!

We don't know much about the origins of St. Valentine's Day, but we do know that it is a feast day to celebrate the martyrdom (yes, martyrdom) of a saint (or saints) who did not renounce their faith and were put to death at the hands of Emperor Claudius in the year 280. I am not sure just how St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers, but to give up your life for another is the greatest demonstration of love (John 15:13). His was a love that was loyal, genuine, and self-less. That's the kind of love worth celebrating.

I'll be spending the day with some people that I truly love: my wife, my brother, my friends. I will be saying farewell to a new friend who is moving to San Diego and go out for some ribs with my extended family tonight. Nothing says "I love you" like ribs (remember, it was a rib that was taken from Adam's side to create Eve!). I am reminded of my love for all those around us, and I am happy to celebrate love -- genuine love -- wherever I see it.

IRL + 1

It was one year ago today that Brenda and I left Ireland to return to the States. Our departure was tearful and our arrival in America was full of uncertainty. We have traveled far in that year and are getting on well in Denver, Colorado, USA. We are grateful for our circle of friends and the satisfaction we have in our work. Most of all, we are thankful for the faithfulness of God even when our hearts didn't allow us to find hope. To all our Irish friends and the youth we have the great privilege of knowing, we miss you all very much and we eagerly anticipate the moment we will be able to return to visit you once again!

Expressed

We're Equals

Time

Some of my peeps.

We were having a discussion on Wednesday night at the gathering in our home about who has been the most significant influence in our lives. Without a doubt, I knew that my person was Paul, my pastor in my youth. As we went around the room, there was a common thread that seemed to link all of our people of influence together: they gave us time. Whenever I stopped by Paul's office or he and Judy's home, they stopped what they were doing just to shoot the breeze. Their generosity of time made quite a difference in the life of this kid from Milford, Indiana.

A few years ago, I was preparing a youth worker seminar for some Christian workers in Ireland. I decided to do a little digging into my own youth ministry experience and wrote an email to several of my former youth in Indiana, Florida, and Northern Ireland. I asked them this simple question: what was the single most influential part of my youth ministry with you? The answers were unanimous: they felt loved because I gave them time.

Imagine my dismay when I realized that all those countless hours of teaching preparation, clever deliveries, and programming that brought shock and awe didn't top the list! It was the campouts, the two-week road trips, the Saturday nights playing cards, and the countless hours spent just "hanging around" that seemed to make the difference. And did my students learn? You bet they did! They learned because of the relationship that they had with their teacher.

I learned a lot from Paul, and apart from one sermon in particular, I couldn't tell you one thing he ever preached! I learned from his life much more than from his words. Whenever a student today walks into my classroom, I stop what I am doing and give them my full attention -- no matter the amount of work on my desk. That student is more important than my task. I learned that from Paul.

The day my task becomes more important than my student is the day I need to move on to something else!

The time we give to others communicates a great deal to them, and it accomplishes more than words ever could. Leo Buscaglia (some guru of sorts) said that "time has no meaning in itself unless we choose to give it significance." I wonder how much time I have spent insignificantly? Time given to others -- no matter the task -- is never wasted.

For many years, the Great Commission found in Matthew's Gospel has profoundly influenced my thinking. Over the last few years, my understanding of Christ's words have evolved into a very completely different view. Jesus said, "Go into all the world and make disciples..." How often have I heard these words used to urge us into evangelism! I have learned there is a tremendous difference between discipleship (as modelled by Jesus) and evangelism (as seen in our modern churches). Evangelism seems to be more about passing on information (words) about God to move people into some sort of confession of faith. But it's the word "discipleship" that pops out of the text to me.

For three years, Jesus lived, breathed, ate, taught, socialized, and served with those who were his disciples. They did life together, and in that experience, Jesus showed them how to believe and how to live. The implication of discipleship in the Gospels seems to be much deeper than our Sunday Schools and seminars and other Christian education programs. It certainly seems to be more profound than passing on information, laying down a tract as a tip at a restaurant, or reciting a few bible verses when talking with our next door neighbor. One of the key elements in discipleship seems to be time.

We cannot underestimate the significance of those small moments of interaction or those hours "frittered away" in the presence of people. I am sure Jesus delighted in those meal-time conversations or those brief encounters with the stranger on the street. I know my favorite moments have been time spent with my wife, my extended family, and my students both past and present.

My life has been profoundly changed by generosity of time and the love of God I discovered in those moments. I choose a lifestyle that is generous in giving time not out of obligation or duty but out of gratitude to God and a love for the people he has brought into my life.

Funny thing about time...I don't miss it when I give it. I do when I waste it.

"Freely you have received. Freely give" (Jesus in Matthew 10:8).

Grace

Three Cheers for Modernism?

Eyes of a new generation.

I'm feeling a bit cheeky, so readers beware!

I've been hearing quite a few sermons lately that have been extolling the virtues of modernism. For those of you who may not be familiar with what modernism is or the controversy surrounding postmodernism, I'd like to invite you out from underneath your rock to check it out for yourself.

Wikipedia describes modernism as "a trend of thought that affirms the power of human beings to create, improve, and reshape their environment, with the aid of scientific knowledge, technology, or practical experimentation." However, most people might find it difficult to come up with a concrete definition of modernism (ironically). Modernism challenged the previous order of thinking and encouraged us to take another look at every aspect of life, knowledge, and even our faith. Modernism celebrates human achievement.

Human achievement.

Shall I extol the virtues of human achievement the modernist era brought us? There's facism, naziism, communism, individualism, and consumerism. There's the world wars, the other wars, nuclear war, and other "advances" in warfare. There's the birth of Darwin's "Origin" in 1859 which gained widespread acceptance by the 1930's. There's the loss of community as people fled rural America for artificial communities called the suburbs. And then there's modernistic spirituality which seems so "mega".

I hear a lot of people complaining about postmodernism (which has its own flaws), but was modernism really all that great?

I suppose the biggest Christian argument I hear about how wonderful modernism is comes in regards to the concept of "absolute truth". Apparently, postmodern thinkers don't believe in absolute truth and the moderns in our midst do. In true modern fashion, I'm going to have to question that line of reasoning (yes...questioning established orders of thinking is indeed a modern thing). People have been asking questions about and doubting truth for a long time. The absence of belief in absolute truth is not a postmodern invention.

For the sake of discussion, let me pose a truly postmodern question: what good is it to claim you possess absolute truth but not love your neighbor? Postmodern thinkers wonder what is so good about absolute truth if you don't live the truth the One you follow teaches you about. I've gotta say...that's a darn good question! There are a lot of people who wonder why such enlightened folks could produce the holocaust, genocide, and segregation.

What good is believing in the inerrancy of the Scriptures if we don't do what the bible says? There is no point, in my opinion.

There are hosts of people who reject the idea of truth as being a mere intellectual exercise. I have to admit, my agreement with this postmodern line of thought makes me sympathetic to their way of thinking. Yes, I am a postmodern sympathizer. I do not, however, have any interest in defending one ism over another. There are no shortage of criticisms of postmodernism, including the charges that it is divisive, arrogant, biblically illiterate and immoral. Oh...and heretical.

Those same charges have been launched at every new, emerging age. The Pharisees launched them at Jesus, the Jerusalem believers launched them at Paul, the medieval church launched them at the reformers, and the colonialsists launched them at the modernists. It seems that every new era emerged from the ashes of the martyrs. I'm convinced most of us see the older way as being the better way, which is why I am sure that postmodern thought is no more evil or heretical than the modernism that gave birth to it. It is probably equally as evil and heretical!

There have been great human achievements but none can match the achievement of the Holy Spirit to work in and through each new generation. To me, most of this postmodernism controversy is little more than another culture war to maintain influence and power, and I do not want to be drafted into it. I prefer to call it what it is and instead celebrate the continuity of the presence of God at work among the people he loves. We will continue to mess things up and get things wrong, but the gracious ministry of the Holy Spirit marches through time.

His church continues despite ourselves.

Micah 6:8

Ethereal

Ethereal = light, airy, and tenuous

I ask the following question of my students at the beginning of each new term: "Do you believe what people say or do you believe what people do?" The consensus with my street savvy students is always unanimous: they believe what people do. I ask this question because I teach a curriculum that gives them skills for life, teaches them anger management and conflict resolution, and requires respect. I know I cannot expect them to put things into practice if it is not modeled for them by their teacher. Demonstrating these skills and respecting each student goes a lot further than abstract principles.

I've been having a discussion with a friend about abstract verses concrete love. We both agree that love often gets spoken of in theory without being put into practice. I think people know when they are being handed vaporous love that seems to dissipate into the air. Love is not ethereal, and it is certainly not a notion of sentiment or affinity. It is, instead, a tangible, practical, concrete, earthy thing that is expressed in the way we live towards others. The difference between being told "i love you" and actually being loved are as night and day.

We can call our sentiment "love", but it isn't believable until it is experienced. When Jesus tells us to love the Father or to love our neighbors, it means something more than possessing nice thoughts about them or practicing benign avoidance. Authentic love calls us out of ourselves and is demonstrated in how we live towards others.

"This is how we know what real love is: Jesus gave his life for us. So we should give our lives for our brothers and sisters. Suppose someone has enough to live and sees a brother or sister in need, but does not help. Then God's love is not living in that person. My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring" (1 John 3:16-18).

Words by themselves are unbelievable. Even the words of the gospels would be unbelievable if it weren't for the concrete love of God demonstrated by the Living Word at the cross!

Living Words.

Genuine love is love incarnated...in the flesh...in us. This love moves us beyond our judgments of others. This love causes us to reject using Scripture to destroy others. This love teaches us to engage and not avoid involvement in other people's lives. This love causes us to collaborate with Christ. This love moves us into the will of God.

Words are cheap. Love isn't.

"Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God" (1 John 4:7).

Bit

Carnivore

I got bit by a squirrel the other day. I'm not bitter, though, since his bite wasn't premeditated. It was my own fault. I've been feeding this squirrel for months off and on, and it was bound to happen eventually. I know I'm not supposed to feed wildlife, but I couldn't help feeding this cute little fella. Frequently, he would approach me when I was outside and be lured close by peanuts. I had him eating out of my hand. As he mistook my index finger for a brazil nut, I was reminded that I was no St. Francis of Assisi.

The thing is, you would think I'd learn my lesson and keep my distance. Even with the images of carnage still playing over in my head, I fed him again recently. I guess the thrill of close encounters with creation overrides my instinct to keep clear of my little ravenous rodent.

I've been bit before (metaphorically speaking), as I'm sure many of us have. The scenario plays out the same: you try to help someone, they come closer, and then they bite you. Many of us have felt the sting from trying to help someone out. Often, it leaves us in a bit of confusion and causes us to think twice about doing it the next time. I've learned from my farmer friends that getting stepped on, kicked, bit, and smelling like shtuff comes with the job. You can expect it to happen, even when you take precautions. No matter how much you feed and care for the mule, given the chance, it will bite. Getting stung by people is to be expected; it goes with the territory. That's not a cynical statement but a practical one.

I love the story of the Good Samaritan. As Jesus tells it, there was a man who was attacked and left for dead along side a road. A couple religious people walked by but didn't stop to help. The Samaritan did -- and it cost him. He was moved by compassion -- not duty, obligation or personal satisfaction. Helping this wounded man interrupted his plans and cost him time, effort and money. He couldn't just pass by. Something within him wouldn't let him pass on by.

Jesus doesn't tell us why the religious people didn't stop. He left it to us to come up with our own assumptions. Admittedly, we don't think very highly of these two who walked on by. I wonder if they had helped people before and been burned? I wonder if they had been taken advantage of or had been hurt while trying to help in the past. I wonder if they had become cynical and suspicious because of previous experiences. Whatever their reasons might have been, we know that they just walked on by.

When I was learning to ride a bike, I fell off a few times and still have the scars on my knees to tell the story. My mom would put a bandage on my knee and tell me to go and try again. She probably knew that if I let my failure and pain stop me from trying again, it would be quite a while before I would learn how to ride a bike.

I don't want to diminish the sting that some of us have felt from helping others. It's legitimate pain. I feel the same sort of pain when a student that I have invested in makes foolish choices that ends up costing them or when helping someone comes around to bite me in the butt. The reality is that people are messy. We're not called to have mercy because it feels good or is good karma. We are called to have mercy because Jesus is merciful. We risk the bite in order to live in that place Jesus lived.

I think Jesus understood very well the cost of unappreciated mercy. He anticipated the sting before it was delivered but his love and mercy compelled him anyhow. I would love to be able to live with that kind of determined, selfless love. Someday, perhaps.

If I've given because Someone has moved my heart to give, what happens next isn't my responsibility. I do believe in being good stewards, but I don't think mercy can be dispensed according to solid accounting principles. We must remember that it is not ourselves that receives the return on the investment.

"In the final foolishness of love, Jesus freely accepts death on the cross"(Brennan Manning, The Importance of Being Foolish).

Made Me Chuckle...

God so loved the world that he gave us Jesus, ice cream, chili, and fish curds.

(Frisco, Colorado)

A Franciscan Blessing

May God bless you with discomfort...

at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships,

so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger...

at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people

so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears...

to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war,

so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness...

to believe you can make a difference in their world,

so that you can do what others claim cannot be done

to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

Amen.