Title

Itch

"It's easy to be brave from a safe distance" (Aesop).

I am a huge fan of the road trip, and no matter where I have lived, I've piled up the miles in search of people and place. I will eat bread and cheese, bathe in rivers, and sleep in tents to be able to afford that extra tank of gas to get me to that desired destination of discovery. I've been accused of having "itchy feet" , and I'm not going to deny it. Truth is, I would rather spend a weekend out...

My road trips have changed with every move. My friends in Ireland used to joke that I knew the country better than they did, and I used to joke in return that the government needed to build a bridge to Britain soon because I was running out of Irish road trip possibilities. Even now, living in America's west, there is so much to see within a day's drive. To the north, I can walk the sacred spaces of the Black Hills or smell sulfur as it belches from the earth at Yellowstone. To the east, I can camp on an open prairie while listening to the music of coyotes and dream of a time when buffalo roamed freely. To the south, I can explore dwellings of ancient civilizations and hear storytellers recount epic tales of the wild west. To the west, I can traverse mythological landscapes of painted red and carved stone that defy man's imagination. In my own backyard, the Rockies reach to just over 14,000 feet and provide numerous opportunities hiking, camping, and seeing wildlife.

It's all so close.

(Well, close if you live here.)

When I lived in Indiana, I only dreamed about the places I get to see on a regular basis now. What used to cost me precious vacation days now can be explored on weekends or long evenings with very little cost at all. Living in close proximity has its advantages. I have enjoyed this opportunity to live "close".

I lived "close" in Ireland, enjoying people and place, delighting in the history and culture of the people I found myself in the midst of. I couldn't get enough of the place (and I still can't), but I suppose that's perfectly normal for a missionary called out of his home to make a new home in another culture. I might have itchy feet, but I think it's a holy itch.

I can't really explain it, but I think it's important for us to get to know what (and who) is near us, to get a sense of it all, and listen for the whispers of God. For many of us though, I wonder if we are too afraid to wander from the familiar. We keep to ourselves and make up our minds that the distance is too great, the cost is too dear, and the danger is too real.

Instead, we only dream of other places and people. We convince ourselves that "here" is best, and -- with an added dose of cynicism -- we can easily talk ourselves into a position of self-imposed superiority. Before long, we find ease in casting judgment on entire groups while confidently preaching from our pulpit made of distance. Such is the path of rigorous nationalism, rampant fundamentalism, or pompous egotism.

It's quite a different perspective when you get close.

The way I see it, we could use a few more people with the holy itch and willingness to wander away from where we're used to hanging our hat. Missionaries are made of such people, but even the journey to the neighbor's front door -- for some -- might be the trip of a lifetime. Even the greatest of all road trips begins with walking out your own front door.

Better

Life is better with people in it.

For those of you in my life, your presence in it does not go unnoticed!

Thanks for being part of my story.

Confession

"A true spiritual leader makes it safe for you to show yourself..." (R. Rohr).

The Anabaptist tradition of my upbringing instilled within me an appreciation for a doctrine called "The Priesthood of All Believers" which is an idea that we need no mediator between ourselves and God except Christ. (That's just part of the doctrine, really.) I was taught that I didn't need a priest to go to God and find forgiveness because that's what Jesus does. I wonder, though, how much of this belief gets translated into idealistic individualism that says, "I don't need a priest, and I also don't need you."

We do need each other.

By and large, there is a rejection of "confession" as a notion and as a practice among Protestant traditions, and many believers particularly reject confession as practiced by our Catholic brothers and sisters. Even within the Catholic community, the confessional is gradually falling out of use. I think the absence of confession is leaving a gaping hole in the spiritual health of the church. Let me explain.

Despite the mandate of scripture that we should confess our sins, many of us continue to keep our sin and struggles well tucked away from all others, wrestling with them quietly and giving those things leverage over our lives. I like what James wrote in chapter 5 verse 16 in the context of prayer and healing: "Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." The "each other" part is very significant here. If James were convinced that healing came from a man praying for himself, he would have said so. There must be something significant about bringing your sins and struggles to others.

The Christian faith must be lived in mutuality.

There's a big difference, too, in confessing your sins to one another and confessing your sins to everyone. Although we are a "kingdom of priests", not everyone can be trusted with the special care, grace, and discernment required for healthy confession. I wouldn't expose my jugular to anyone with a knife and a reputation for using one, nor would I confess my sins and struggles to someone who would use such information for leverage, power, or destruction.

True confession would lead to love (not leverage), freedom (not control), and healing (not condemnation). It would look like Jesus.

The point of confession among believers isn't just the forgiveness of sin but is also healing. I have experienced the washing away of guilt or pain or darkness when I have confessed my weaknesses, struggles, and sins with a trusted brother or mentor. For men especially, getting thoughts outside of the darkness of our minds can be liberating enough to bring about tremendous healing and re-set our course in the right direction. We don't do well alone with our thoughts.

Confession is also a sign of the spiritual health of a congregation and the individual believer. I think when people feel safe enough to confess, it surely must reflect an authentic presence of mercy and wisdom in the life of the one's hearing the confession. I tell you this...it is certainly humbling to be on the receiving end of someone's deepest confession. There are fewer things, in my experience, that are received with such a weight of responsibility.

It is my belief that people discover the love and grace of God when they experience it from God's people. By the look of things, I'd say we could use a little more of it.

Remedy

Life

Transparency

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Jesus, Mt. 5:3).

Where grace persists and people take seriously the communion of the Body of Christ (in other words, the community of followers of Christ), you will see transparency at work. I think our level of transparency with one another is a sign of health in a church and a measure of the loving, restorative nature of our ministry to one another.

Transparency is good for us. All of us.

Transparency puts to death our need to preserve our reputation rather than pursue true spiritual formation. Rather than giving in to the urge to portray ourselves as something we are not, honesty and transparency about our weaknesses keeps us dependent upon God's grace (and others!). Even Paul, whom many admire as a great man, understood the important role of "the thorn" to keep us from becoming conceited and in a state of dependence. For as much as we read all the bravado in Paul's writings, we cannot skip over his level of transparency and honesty about his own life!

Transparency liberates from the guilt and condemnation that comes from battling things privately in the secret confines of our own minds. I know it to be true for myself...when I talk things out with a trusted friend, things aren't nearly as dark and dismal as I had played them up to be. I've known a lot of personal healing through bringing thoughts out of the "darkness" in my mind and bringing them into the light or open. This has been one of my favorite aspects of authentic community!

Transparency teaches and leads others through our example. When we determine to live in transparency, others learn through us and often find the freedom to discover tangible grace for themselves. Doctrines and dogmas, facts and statistics do little to sway people, but the sharing of one's own personal stories, warts and all, can cause people to relate to the inner working of God's Spirit like nothing else.

Transparency stimulates gracious, merciful living towards others. I am convinced that the reason why people find it so difficult in practicing mercy is because of how little they have experienced it themselves. Once we have opened ourselves to being beneficiaries of the grace of God, we have the grace to dispense towards others. Mercy begets mercy, and it starts to defeat whatever remains of the "unmerciful servant" in us (Matthew 18). I believe it causes us to be less uptight and less judgmental of others and helps to develop an appetite within us for bringing people to life!

Through trusted honesty, our real, raw humanity can be met with the tangible grace of God. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest with a men's ministry I admire, said this: "A man who owns his limitations and weeps over his sin is much more effective than one who thinks he has neither." Transparency and honesty -- especially in authentic community -- keeps us real and keeps us dependent (though we may fear both!).

A month ago, I was talking with a colleague who happened to be very outspoken at a team meeting while challenging some things that were coming out of his manager's mouth. I admired his ability to speak the truth on behalf of all of us, knowing that he was risking his job in the process. When I began to heap my admiration upon him, he stopped me and said this: "I don't want you to be under the impression that I am a brave man. I've just got a great job offer in the works and I have nothing to lose!"

I laughed.

How true! We've got nothing to lose! Apart from Christ, I have no reputation before God. "Jesus Christ is my only reason for boasting."

Light

"You are the light of the world..." (Jesus).

Illuminate.

Hide

"...confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed" (James 5:15).

The most common threat every child carries with them in their prepubescent vocabulary is the phrase "I'm going to tell on you!" Such threats can strike fear into the hearts of children in playgrounds and on monkey bars everywhere. Generally, there were just a handful of students who had the reputation of being tattlers, but we learned to avoid them altogether or alter our conversation and behavior whenever they came around. We learned how to survive by mistrusting those who couldn't keep their mouth shut or pretending to be doing something else whenever they were around.

As adults, we've perfected these techniques first learned in childhood. We were taught to hide, but we mastered concealment and secrecy by our teen years and on into adulthood. This, unfortunately, can have serious consequences for our mental health and even spiritual development and transformation. Our emotional, mental, and spiritual health is always tied into community, so whenever we attempt to "go at it alone", we seldom find success or resolve -- quite the opposite, in fact. Community, especially authentic Christian community that is immersed in wisdom and grace, has trememdous power to transform and heal. Despite biblical counsel to confess our sins to one another, it is probably not broadly practiced among believers today. It may be normal to hide, but it is not healthy.

"...confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed" (James 5:15).

I think there are generally two reasons why people hide their struggles and sins, soft spots and sore points: shame and protection. I can understand both. No one likes to air their dirty laundry in the presence of others. Shame and the subsequent act of hiding is one of the oldest recorded behaviors of man (Genesis 3). God, in his mercy, made a covering for them so they would not be ashamed. So, too, should we be careful to cover those who have either been made vulnerable or have exposed themselves by their own choosing.

As far as protection, anyone who has had the awful experience of having their secrets or insecurities used as leverage against them by people who seek to manipulate and control has obvious and credible reasons to keep themselves tucked safely away. Why would anyone openly invite judgment, condemnation, ridicule, or isolation? I am convinced many people don't seek out confession within the Body of Christ because they do not feel safe to do so.

Our fear of one another causes us to bear false witness.

Hiding, among other things, prevents us from experiencing transformative grace, robs us of authentic living and deep community, increases our isolation, feeds self-destruction, and stunts the spiritual maturity and growth of the church. It gives us a sense of false-security but never quite takes away the fear of being found out. That's why the security is false.

When I first went into ministry, there were any number of elder pastors who advised me to be sure to never develop deepened, trusting relationships within the congregations I served. While I should move close to the people I was called to serve, I was advised never to allow them too close to me. For some reason, it was important to keep the insecure, weak, or worried parts of me hidden while the man of strength took center stage. I don't believe this now, and -- quite frankly -- it didn't sit right with me when I first heard it. What an unhealthy approach to life (and ministry)!

One of those irkish little things about being a pastor is how quickly some people morph and change their behavior whenever I am around. I say "some" because I have been priviledged to be around many truly authentic people. Just occasionally, I get to witness the verbal acrobatics some people perform in order to pull off the act of concealment. It's awkward. It makes me feel awkward, and they look awkward. I prefer the company of the authentic over pretense and posturing any day, yet I can understand why some would do it.

I can never forget those countless moments with youth and grown men who have quietly, in the confines of safe places, relieved themselves of the secrets of their hearts, the battles of the mind, or the bruises of yesteryear and found healing and redemption in Christ. I have seen grown men weep and broken men laugh as the mercy of God intersected with their greatest need.

Often I have heard comments about how young people these days are "so far out there". I believe what we are often observing is their backlash against face, pretense, and hiding -- a rebellion against the inauthentic...and this is one of the traits of post-modernism. They want to be known. While I can appreciate their "soul streak", many of them still lack the community and support of those who can offer the foundational things that they are craving. I dream of a church with a heart prepared to engage and serve others at their greatest point of need.

The survival techniques of our youth don't necessarily do us any good as we grow towards maturity. The challenge is in finding our way forward...

Next article "Transparency".

Alike

Face

"Most people spend their entire lives projecting, protecting, and maintaining this fiction" (Richard Rohr).

Zhang Haihua, author of "Think Like Chinese" says this about image: "Face, we say in China, is more important than life itself." I read this quote in an article written about how Chinese businesses hire white people to show up at events in order to give their products or services legitimacy. These businesses and institutions hire actors to show up, speak a few lines in English that no one understands, and be seen. Apparently, the illusion of white involvement sells. The actor gets paid before moving on to his next gig.

This need for self-misrepresentation isn't, however, just a Chinese phenomenon. We, too, live in a culture obsessed with image and illusion. From the time we are young, we are taught to put our best face forward and hide any part of us that might bring ridicule or judgment. We've mastered this in the church as well and have therefore missed out on a dynamic aspect of our lives together. In our efforts to keep up a reputation, many of us have simply faked it to make it.

In the backrooms of trust and grace, I have encountered many people whose need for acceptance and love was so great that they found it necessary to hide the parts of themselves they felt would be judged by others (struggles, insecurities, fears, sins, etc.). Whether we want to admit it or not, we in the church may be guilty of creating the very hypocrisy we hate. Rather than finding the safety in the Body of Christ for true confession, we keep those parts well hidden for fear of judgment, isolation, and rejection -- or shame. Consequently, if a person's struggles, weaknesses, or sins become public, they often get hammered by those who wouldn't have tolerated their transparency in the first place but still accuse them of "pretending to be something they are not".

Actress Salma Hayek once said, "So many people are busy trying to create an image, they die in the process." (Did I really just quote Salma Hayek?) I can't imagine the consequences of a humanity more interested in image than substance, but we don't need to look too far to see its effect on the human heart, mind, soul, and body. Perhaps this is one of many reasons why confession is so desperately needed in order to bring healing, grace, and mercy to man's condition caused by a pagan individualism that keeps him trapped in his own mind and a victim of his own battles.

I've been thinking about the subjects of hiding, transparency, and confession lately as I've been reading about ancient Christian practices. I still believe the church is called to that place where Jesus intersects with the world's needs, and I can't help but believe that followers of Christ who live their lives in transparency and who practice confession will have a profound, healing, life-giving presence with neighbors and brothers alike. God knows this generation is crying out for authenticity and transparency.

Image is killing us, but many of us are running after it like it is the source of all life!

"...everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind" (Ecclesiastes 2:11).

Next article "Hide"

Calling